Need Someone to Talk to?
It's hard to believe this August, Trey and I will be celebrating 11 years of marriage! E L E V E N !!
Where has the time gone? It honestly feels like it was just yesterday we exchanged our "I Do's" and vowed to choose each other through every obstacle guaranteed to be thrown our way. If you know my husband, you know he's a true jokester and will have you busting a gut with his endless joking and playful personality. I've been asked soooo many times, "how do you deal with him?" My answer every time-- "I LOVE HIM!" It's the truth, the amount of love I have for him moves me to choose "US" every time! But girl, It would be a real flex if I allow you to believe this marriage is ALWAYS flawless. That's not the case! Just the other day, we argued over something as petty as picking up a small piece of trash off the floor. This attitude of mine has me checking myself and putting my own self back in place!
I'll let you in on a secret. Trey and I would agree our first year of marriage was the hardest for the both of us. Yep! That's right, the honeymoon stage was short lived. Although we knew we LOVED each other, we had to grow to truly KNOW each other. We had to learn each other's likes, dislikes, and most importantly, each other's triggers. This new thing-- living with a man-- was different for me! I had never been in such situations. I have one exact memory of cooking dinner for my new husband, fixing his plate ( not because it was expected, but because he made me feel like a queen who in turn wanted to serve her King!) Trey reached into the cabinet to grab a glass but walked away so smoothly from the open cabinet without closing it. Ya'll! I ducked and dodged that open cabinet so many times but refused to close it! I could not understand why he just didn't close it! After the argument...because there was definitely an argument, he confirmed he accidentally left the cabinet open, however, his stance was that I was already standing beside it and he didn't see why I just couldn't close it.. Yall..!!!!! Me????!!!! I wasn't the one who opened it! Tuh!
11 years later, here we are. Obviously we survived the petty cabinet incident. In that situation, I remember feeling like I had no one to talk to (to agree with me and share in me giving reasons why HE was wrong!) I think I know what you're thinking, you have friends and family you could talk to. You're right! I know for sure my closest girlfriends (married and non married) would no doubt lend a listening ear. B U T.. to know me is to know me. I'm such a private person. I have resisted the urge to casually discuss moments such as these involving petty arguments with my husband with the girls. Don't misunderstand me, my girlfriends and I can always relate in discussions where we disagree with our mates. But bashing MINE?! NAW, NEVER!
So, the question is--- Who do you turn to when you need someone to really talk to? Do you have 1 special friend, a family member, or do you choose counseling? Why is our generation so afraid of counseling? For those of you interested in counseling, I've linked a resource below for you!
Ray of Hope Counseling Services is a great place to check out if you choose this route but you're feeling nervous or skeptical of counseling. They meet you where you are. They don’t judge. They provide a comfortable and confidential space for you. They truly try to connect with you and help you through life's transitions or challenges. You simply go and just be you. The great thing about them? They have locations all around Georgia, so no matter if you are searching for a therapist Peachtree City or a therapist in Alpharetta, or Canton, or Marietta, they have you covered. They also have virtual therapy for those that do not have time to travel, do not have a location near them, or feel more comfortable in their own home. Plus, they accept all forms of insurance and they specialize in so many different forms of therapy!
I want you to know first, all marriages--all relationships-- have their differences. Some newlywed wife is somewhere mad at her mate because he left one sock an inch away from the dirty clothes basket and refuses to pick it up. This seemingly petty argument can harvest into something much larger than expected if there is not proper communication between the couple. My advice would be to find someone you can talk to, not to gossip, but simply to talk over anything you need. Next, and most importantly, TALK TO YOUR MATE! Don't allow any negative feelings to foster! That could be detrimental to the the relationship. And lastly if all else fails, try counseling!